Month: August 2016

THE MANA DORK — The Best-Laid Plans by Jesse Mackenzie

So there I am, having just drafted the original Conspiracy set for the first time, and I’m definitely about to die. I’ve got a Woodvine Elemental and an Altar of Dementia on the board, a Realm Seekers in my hand, and a single-digit life total. I’m piloting a deck of green-white goodstuff — actually, “goodstuff” is too strong of a word. Let’s call it GW Maybe-Stuff — against an intimidating trio of expert players across the table. They’ve got good creatures on the board. They’ve got good cards in hand. I… have neither of these things. I need to do something. The turn passes to me. Untap. Upkeep. Draw. Float six mana. Cast Realm Seekers. No responses. Realm Seekers comes out as a 26/26. People stare at it with apprehension.‎ These elves could take out Emrakul. All I have to do is give them trample and I can one-shot someone. And I’m in green, where trample is king. My plan is not nearly that predictable. I immediately sacrifice the Realm Seekers ‎to the Altar of Dementia, targeting the pilot of the red-white aggro deck next to me. She’s got the greatest number of creatures on the board, and if she swings at me next turn, I’m dead. She had precisely twenty-six cards in her library. The Altar of Dementia mills every single one. She’s out. I live for another turn....

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THE MANA DORK — Please Rabid Bite Responsibly by Jesse Mackenzie

    “So, I see you actually drank some water this time,” the little voice in my head began. Yup! “Didn’t get to sleep like you wanted to, though. And you’re still full of sugar and caffeine.” We all make mistakes sometimes. But I’m good! I’m ready. “Right. And your 4th-place position at the Shadows over Innistrad pre-release, that was…” Pure skill. “And not because you played it at a reasonable hour and got some sleep and ate good food.”   Well, I mean, that helped, but… “Uh-huh. Let’s see how you do.”         My pre-release promo was Wharf Infiltrator. I was hoping for Docent of Perfection, but I guess I can’t be too disappointed with another sweet mid-game blue creature that does serious work in Limited. The pool I got, though, was challenging at best. There was very little in blue to support the Wharf Infiltrator, and almost nothing worthwhile in white or black outside of a single copy of Murder and a completed Chittering Host pairing. My big, quality bombs were Soul Swallower and Impetuous Devils, with a smattering of serious work-putter-inners like Furyblade Vampire and Brazen Wolves. Red-green Eldraziwolves it is! I wasn’t directly trying to copy my Shadows over Innistrad success, but it was certainly a factor. In Sealed, like in Draft, you will live or die based on the quality of the creatures you get onto the battlefield. My best creatures were in...

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